Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
