After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
