If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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