we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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