So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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