Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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