i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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