Buhtt sex?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
