well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
did i walk over a car last night?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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