he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I love how my cats smell like pot.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
