i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish i was in the wii world.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
