She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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