just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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