He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
