Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
