Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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