a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
