all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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