he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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