NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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