I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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