i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
