There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
