i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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