Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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