I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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