Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
