So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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