why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
