someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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