right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
