My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Randomize
