just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
