What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
