If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
