Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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