i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
