to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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