Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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