plz talk dirty to me
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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