he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize