chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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