what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
