good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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