yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
