one might say we're banned from that church
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
