i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
