And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I need moral support for this bender
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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