Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
