Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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