Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He passed out mid-signature
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Of course I have a pirate flag
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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