you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize