You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
its not stalking. its research.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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