wrigley field is MILF paradise
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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