just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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