I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
