we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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