throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize