i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
