What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
