i just wanna soil my oats bro
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize