Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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