we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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