I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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