You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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