There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
