He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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