So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
